PDF Ebook My Life with a Borderline: My Personal JourneyBy Matthew Kelleher
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My Life with a Borderline: My Personal JourneyBy Matthew Kelleher
PDF Ebook My Life with a Borderline: My Personal JourneyBy Matthew Kelleher
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Yvette was charming, sexy and smart. She was also a doctor. And she wanted him. Could this be 'too good to be true'? How could he have been so lucky to find her?What he didn't know at the time they met was that she was probably a 'high-functioning Borderline', someone exceptionally intelligent, alluring and amorous, yet self-destructive and damaging; not just to him, but to herself. As a result of their first meeting, his two-year relationship with Yvette would literally take him to the edge of insanity, and back again. And it would only be through the painful, gruelling process of self-discovery that he would find the inner strength to finally release himself from the madness and mayhem that characterised his 'Borderline' relationship. This personal journey eventually led him to find the reasons why he had been attracted to Yvette in the first place, reasons that would literally be life-changing. This is his story...
Kelleher's explicit and honest autobiographical memoir of his two-year relationship with someone whom he suspected was suffering from 'Borderline Personality Disorder' is both harrowing, and enlightening. It details the story of how Kelleher succumbed to Yvette's 'Borderline charms', primarily through a lack of his own self-awareness, and tells the story of their subsequent relationship. It also details his traumatic experience in trying to leave this relationship, required in the end to safeguard his own sanity.But beyond his story, Kelleher tells the account of how his relationship with Yvette awoke fundamental realisations about his own character, and about why he chose to remain in such a dysfunctional relationship for so long.In essence, it is a story about self-discovery and about how Kelleher's relationship with someone possessing 'Borderline' characteristics was ultimately responsible for leading him to discover a deep and profound understanding of the very person he really was, rather than the person he 'thought' he was before meeting Yvette. This book will appeal primarily to 'Non-BPD's', either people who are currently in relationships with partners and loved-ones who may be suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and/or those who may have chosen to leave such a relationship in the recent past. The book takes a balanced view, and recognises and acknowledges the reasons why 'non's' may choose to stay in such dysfunctional relationships. It is ultimately a book about self-discovery, and personal recovery from the trauma experienced by a 'non' by being in a 'Borderline' relationship.It may also be of interest to those suffering from BPD, or those who suspect that they might be. It is an honest, heart-felt account about the chaos experienced by a 'non-BPD' within a 'Borderline' relationship, which also fully acknowledges the 'non's' contribution to the ongoing dysfunction within such a destructive relationship.
- Sales Rank: #3032672 in Books
- Published on: 2012-01-13
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .32" w x 5.00" l, .32 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 140 pages
From the Author
'Surviving' and dealing with the fall-out from the end of a romantic relationship with someone who was suspected of having 'Borderline Personality Disorder', or 'BPD' is one of the hardest things I have done, if not THE hardest.
Whilst in my two-year relationship, I had to endure emotional outbursts, devaluation and emotional abuse. But after the relationship was over, these were replaced with self-doubt, shame and toxic-guilt. Was I right to leave? Have I 'failed' again? Was it as bad as I thought it was? My 'reality' was skewed. And recovery isn't easy. I can tell you that from personal experience, and that's an understatement. But it was those feelings that prompted me to write my book. It was cathartic, and writing it has helped me heal.And I hope if you read it, it will help you either understand the 'Borderline' relationship you find yourself in at the moment, or understand the feelings you have since you left your relationship.
In 'recovery' from possible 'addiction' to a Borderline relationship, you need to be emotionally strong. Some people use their 'faith' to help, and others use support groups such as 'Co-dependants Anonymous'. These are all important. But in my experience, it takes a profound deal of self-analysis and introspection to fully achieve 'closure' from such a dysfunctional relationship. As a 'non-BP' it is very easy to 'blame' the 'BPD' for all the chaos that probably ravaged your relationship, but in my opinion, you also have to look at yourself.
Why did I 'choose' to stay in such an abusive relationship? Why did I 'choose' to get into such a relationship in the first place? And what is it about ME that the 'BPD' was so attracted to in the first-place?
All these are extremely difficult questions, and instead of focussing on the characteristics of your (ex-)partner and their 'Borderline Personality Disorder', I found the path to self-healing to be self-analysis and self-discovery. In examining yourself, you may realise that you are 'co-dependant', and possibly even narcissistic yourself. These are important realisations to make, and 'own-up' to, if you are to move beyond the self-doubt and shame associated with the end of such a relationship.
In my opinion, self-analysis and self-discovery is ESSENTIAL in order to be able to do this, and from my own experience I would recommend reading other books by Alice Miller and Melody Beattie. Yes, it is going to be hard, probably the hardest thing you have ever done in your life, but you ARE NOT ALONE. I'm still here, and you will be too.
I am now a 'survivor' of the abuse and trauma I experienced in such a destructive relationship, and I am no longer a 'victim'. And you can be too. Just listen to, and believe in YOURSELF. The very best of luck in your own journey of self-discovery, and my thoughts and compassion are with you.
About the Author
Matthew Kelleher currently works in the healthcare industry, and lives in England, Great Britain.
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